A young man goes into a bar and picks up a tall woman.
After a night of drinking and dancing they go back to his place.
She unzips his fly and starts playing with his dick.

"Wow," he says, "you handle my penis so well...."

"I should," she replies, "I used to have one just like it ... only
longer!"

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Today is my daughter's 18th birthday....... I'm so glad that this is my
last
...#$&!%*@ child support payment. Month after month, year after year,
those ...#$&!%*@ payments!

So I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she
got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last
check over to your mother's house and tell that her that this is the
last #$&!%*@ check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you
tell me the _expression on her face."

So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear
what the xxb&%*$ had to say and the look she had. As my baby girl
walked though the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?"

"She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy..."

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