An accountant got home late one night and his wife yelled: "Where the hell
have you been!!??"

He replied "I was out getting a tattoo."

She said "A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"

Proudly he said "I got a Hundred Dollar Bill tattooed on my penis."

The wife (shaking her head in disdain) said "What the hell were you
thinking!? WHY on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill on his
penis?"

He replied " well...
Number one...I like to watch money grow.
Number two...Once in a while I like to play with my money.
Number three...I like how money feels in my hand and lastly...
Instead of you going out shopping,
you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you
want!!!"