Subject:    Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they
  aren't prepared for the answer...
 
  In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
  witness to the stand: a-grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
  and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
 
  She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
  you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
  behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
  brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
  paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
 
  The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
  room and asked, "Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney?" She again
  replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
  too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a
  normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst
  in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
  different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
 
  The defense attorney almost died.
 
  The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet
  voice, said: If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
  throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."