An 18 year old and his grandfather were out fishing out on Beaver Lake in Arkansas one Sunday afternoon. The grandpa turns to the boy and says, "Son, can you hand me a cold beer out of the cooler behind you?" The boy hands his grandpa a beer and asks if he can have one. Grandpa says, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" "No," replies the boy. "Then you can't drink beer," says his grandpa.

A few minutes later, grandpa turns to his grandson and says, "Son, can you get me a cigarette out of my jacket pocket and light it for me?" "Sure, grandpa," replies the boy, who then asks, "Can I have one, too?"

His grandpa says, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" "No," he replies again. "Then you can't have one," says his grandpa.

Later that day on the way home they stop for gas. The grandson goes into the station and pays for the gas and buys a lottery ticket. On the way out, he scratches his ticket wins $1,000,000. His grandpa looks over at the winning ticket and says, "Son, lets say you and I split it 50/50."

The boy replies, "Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?"

"Why yes it can," says his grandpa.

"Good, then go fuck yourself!" says the boy.