Help Desk

 
 This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I
 think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story
 from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording
 monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk
 employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
 organization for "Termination without Cause."
 
Actual dialogue of a
 former WordPerfect Customer Support employee now I know why they record
these conversations)!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 
 "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
 
 "Yes. I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
 
 "What sort of trouble?"
 
 "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
 
 "Went away?"
 
 "They disappeared."
 
 "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
 
 "Nothing."
 
 "Nothing?"
 
 "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
 
 "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
 
 "How do I tell?"
 
 "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
 
 "What's a sea-prompt?"
 
 "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
 
 "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
 
 "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
 
 "What's a monitor?"
 
 "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a

 little light that tells you when it's on?"
 
 "I don't know."
 
 "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
 goes into it. Can you see that?"
 
 "Yes, I think so."
 
 "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
 wall."
 
 "Yes, it is."
 
 "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
 cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
 
 "No."
 
 "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
 cable."
 
 "Okay, here it is."
 
 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
 your computer."
 
 "I can't reach it."
 
 "Uh-huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
 
 "No."
 
 "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
 
 "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's
 dark."
 
 "Dark?"
 
 "Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from
 
 the window."
 
 "Well, turn on the office light then."
 
 "I can't."
 
 No? Why not?"
 
 "Because there's a power failure."
 
 "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
 still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

 
 "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
 
 "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was

 when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
 
 "Really? Is it that bad?"
 
 "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
 
 "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
 
 "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."