THE TOP 13 ADDITIONAL WARNINGS THE FDA
I S CONSIDERING FOR BEER AND ALCOHOL BOTTLES
                     13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may make you think you are whispering
                       when you are not.

                     12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is
                       a major factor in dancing like an jerk.

                     11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may cause you to tell the same boring
                       story over and over again until your
                       friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

                     10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may cause you to thay shings like thish.

                     9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
                       are really dying for you to telephone
                       them at 4 in the morning.

                     8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may leave you wondering what the heck
                       happened to your pants.

                     7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may cause you to roll over in the
                       morning and see something really scary
                       (whose species and or name you can't
                       remember).

                     6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is
                       the leading cause of inexplicable
                       rug burns on the forehead.

                     5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may create the illusion that you are
                       tougher, handsomer and smarter than
                       some really, really big guy named Bubba.

                     4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may lead you to believe you are invisible.

                     3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol
                       may lead you to think people are
                       laughing WITH you.

                     2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
                       cause an influx in the time-space
                       continuum, whereby small (and sometimes
                       large) gaps of time may seem to
                       literally disappear."

                     1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
                        actually CAUSE pregnancy.
 

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