A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She
  gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he
  arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to
  hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.
 
  "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
  "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak
to
  him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
 
  "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can
do?"
 
  "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," shecontinues, slyly
  popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck
them
  gently.
 
  What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
 
  "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the
  ladies room.