Humor for December 20th, 2004

Submitted by Linnea

Leroy The Redneck Reindeer

Submitted by VJ

Advice from Bill Gates

To anyone with kids of any age, here's some
advice. Bill Gates gave a
speech to high school students about 11 things
they would not learn in
school. He talks about feel-good, politically
correct teachings having
created a generation of kids with no concept of
reality and how this sets them
up for failure in the real world.

Love him or hate him, he sure hit the nail on the
head with this!

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your
self-esteem. The world will expect
you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good
about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out
of high school. You
won't be a vice president with a car phone until
you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait
till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your
dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping - they
called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents'
fault, so don't whine about
your mistakes - learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't
as boring as they are
now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you thought
you were. So, before you
save the rain forest from the parasites of your
parents' generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with
winners and losers, but life
HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give
you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right
answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You
don't get summers off and
very few employers are interested in helping you
FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.


Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life
people actually have to
leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end
up working for one.

Humor Home March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 Sept 2003 Oct 2003 Nov 2003 Dec 2003 Jan 2004 Feb 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 Aug 2004 Sept 2004 Oct 2004